The beginning - my "ah-ha" moment

I have been overweight all my life. I don't want to write an autobiography here, but I was teased throughout school for my weight and developed big self-image and confidence issues because of it. I have never been happy with the way I look and have felt ill at ease with my body my whole life. During undergrad I starved myself down to a normal weight. At the time I still felt fat and unattractive, but looking back at the pictures I realize I wasn't. However, as soon as I started eating normally again all the weight came back, plus some extra. Once I entered grad school I moved away from the area I grew up in and entered a new stage in life. I enjoyed my new location, but I also gained 20 pounds in a year and a half. Occasionally I tried cutting calories and exercising, but when the scale didn't budge I would grow discouraged and quit.

This past December I came home for Christmas break at the heaviest weight I have ever been. Normally when I go visit home I see all my regular doctors as needed, since I'm already in the area. My primary care doctor referred me to a new doctor to look into something that had to do with a health issue in the past. I went to the appointment and instantly disliked the doctor the second he began to talk to me. He asked prying questions beyond the scope of what I was there for. Mainly, he wanted to talk about my weight, which was unrelated to the issue I had come to discuss. He basically grilled me and made me feel terrible. I know sometimes doctors have to be frank to make advice stick, but he was almost rude. I think he could have had a better delivery. Anyway, once the appointment was finally over and I walked out of the doctor's office, I began to cry. I hated myself at that moment more than I ever had before.

Still chafing from the horrible appointment, I went to visit my cousin that evening. I had gotten Wii Fit for Christmas and brought it over to try on his Wii. He and my aunt watched while I set up a profile. When it did the body test I knew it was going to weigh me, but I had no choice but to continue, not wanting to ruin the fun or appear insecure. Instead of displaying my weight it showed a BMI scale, which started at 0 and then rose to my BMI as my character fattened in proportion. In the end it declared "you're obese!" while my chubby character looked down at her belly in disbelief. My aunt and cousin thought this was funny and laughed histarically. I laughed along, but inside I was horrified - I hadn't known that I was actually obese! It didn't help that they joked about it the rest of the night. I declared that day the worst in my life and went to bed feeling heavily discouraged.

4 days later, my mother showed me her Weight Watchers online profile and let me look around the site inside her account. She agreed to pay for a subscrition for me if I wanted to join, so I signed up and began the diet that very day. On my first weigh in day I was estatic to discover that it had actually worked and I had lost some weight. My previous attempts at weight loss as of late had yielded little to no results and had never worked so instantly. After the intial success I jumped into Weight Watchers with gusto and have been steadfastly sticking to the diet. I have tracked EVERY thing that I have eaten since then, even if I know it puts me way beyond my points. I bought "My Fitness Coach" for wii and have been working out with it at least 4-6 times a week. I eased myself into the changes and was able to transition into a better lifestyle.

It's been 2 months and I've lost 12.2 pounds. I'm addicted to water, I rarely eat out, and I've just gotten to the point where my body craves the workouts it once dreaded. Now that the initial transition is over I know I can stick with it till the end. I hope this blog will help me make this journey and will inspire others along the way. Stay tuned!